Ode to Oddity
by chronicler-of-knuckles
Summary: A tale for the odd (fur) ball hero of the team (Warning: death of a pet)
1. Default Chapter

Ode to Oddity  
by the Chronicler  
  
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Ch. 1  
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One move and it would be all over. One move and the child would fall into the water. One move and he would be dead. One move...  
  
Buckaroo Banzai didn't even breath. Why the hell did the damn Clan always have to hide behind children?  
  
Before him, no more than four yards stood one of Uilc Dochas Clan's preciouse Lords. He was young, stupid, arrogent, and, as he held a small toddler over the side of the bridge, hanging her helplessly over the raging river, extreamly dangerouse.  
  
"You don't want to do that." Buckaroo advised. he knew his team was close, only a few minutes behind him. He could already hear Oddity's frantic barking, letting everyone know that he still had the trail. All he had to do was buy time.  
  
"What ever gave you that idea?" the Lord hissed. "What is this mongrely child to me?"  
  
Buckaroo couldn't help but stiffen at the refrence to such a small, innocent, beautiful child being disregarded in such a way. Hell, he hadn't even noticed she was oriental. To him she was life, and that was all that mattered. "Fine, then." he growled. "Think about yourself. All we have you on is stealling weapons. You want to go down on murder too?"  
  
The Lord laughed. "Do you honestly think you could keep any of us in jail?"  
  
The Doctor shrugged. "Then why not just surrender? Save us both a lot of time." he suggested.  
  
Again the Lord laughed. "Call it dignity." And, with that, he released the child.  
  
"NO!" Buckaroo yelled, lunging forward, One fist took the lord in the jaw, slamming him to the planks of the bridge. The other reached out for the child. His fingers snatched the blanket she had been wrapped in. But it unwrapped, sending her falling into the racing water below.  
  
Oddity was suddenly beside him. He peered over the edge and barked at the quickly vanishing child. Without being ordered to do so, he leaped into the river, and swam after her.   
  
"Oddity!" Knuckles screamed for her pet as she and the rest of the Hong Kong Cavaliers broke through the trees behind Buckaroo just in time to see the dog's dive.  
  
"The baby's in the water!" Buckaroo yelled over his shoulder at them. "Follow Oddity!"  
  
Knuckles, Perfect Tommy, New Jersey, Reno Nevada, and Pecos all scrambled down the rocky shore line, trying to catch up to the rivers two struggeling occupants. Rawhide and Peggy Banzai hurried up the trail to the bridge.  
  
"Buckaroo, look out!" Peggy cried.  
  
Buckaroo, so distracted with getting help after the child, he didn't notice the Lord recovering. He took a high kick in the gut, slamming him back against the rail of the bridge.   
  
Rawhide pushed passed Peggy and raced on to the bridge, pulling his Colt revlover as he went.  
  
In one, smooth motion, the Lord rolled to his feet, pun around, and aimed a kick at Buckaroo's head.  
  
But Buckaroo was expecting it this time. He brought up his left arm to block the kick. His right balanced him against the rail while his left foot swept about, kicking his attackers pivoting foot out from under him.  
  
Again, the Lord was slammed to the planks.   
  
Rawhide pounced on him then, slamming a huge fist against the man's head, knocking him out cold.   
  
Peggy reached her husband's side. "Buckaroo, damn it." she half growled, half sighed with relief. "Are you alright?" She was already running her hands over his bruised ribs, assuring herself that nothing was broken.   
  
"Oddity! Get her, boy! You can do it, boy!" came a soft call from down stream as Knuckles called to her dog.  
  
"The baby!" Buckaroo cried. He grabbed his wife's arm and ushered her off the bridge so they could join the chase.  
  
Knuckles could see Oddity bobbed up and down in the water, despertly fighting to keep his own head above water as he swam after the child. "Keep with it, Oddity! You can do it, boy!" she continued to call to him as she ran along the shore.   
  
"There!" Prefect Tommy suddenly shouted. "I see the kid!" He stopped on top of a large bolder so as to direct them all in the right direction. "Oddity almost has her."  
  
Knuckles dug in her belt pouch for her lead rope as she ran. She knew, once Oddity had the child, it would take all his strength just to fight the current. She would have to get the line out to him and pull him and the child back to shore and safety.   
  
A bark barely heard over the rour of the river.   
  
"He has her!" Perfect Tommy shouted from his perch.   
  
"Reno, I need you!" Knuckles shouted over her shoulder as she turned, cutting through the trees. If she remembered the map right, and she always did, the river wrapped around a jeety. If they crossed the jetty, they could come out in front of Oddity.  
  
Reno was a step behind. He didn't question the young woman, her call for help, or her change in direction. If there was one thing he had learned about Knuckles and Oddity over the last couple of years, was that neither ever did anything just to do it when there was a job to be done.   
  
Within minutes, breathing hard, they broke the trees and stumbled ankle deep into the river.   
  
"Where are they?" Reno despretly searched the water.  
  
"There!" Knuckles pointed.   
  
Oddity's white head bobbed into view coming around the bend in the river. Holding his head as high as he could, he tried to lift the toddler as high out of the water as he could, clutching her only by the back of her pajamas between his teath. His legs worked figorously, fighting the current, trying to stear them both to the shore.  
  
"Reno." Knuckles tossed him the guide rope. "Can you put a loop around him?"  
  
Reno didn't waste time answering. He whipped the rope over his head, swinging it around and around.  
  
"Come on, Oddity! Over here, boy. You can do it! Come on, boy. Come on, love. Bring her home!" Knuckles called encouragement to her dog.  
  
Seemingly renewed by his mistress call, Oddity fought toward her.  
  
"Almost..." Reno whispered to no one in particular. "Come on, Oddity... a little closer.... Now!" he released the rope.   
  
With perfect accuracey, the loop landed around the dog's head.  
  
"Don't pull it yet!" Knuckles stopped Reno before turning her attention back to her dog. "In, Oddity! In!" she gave the order.  
  
The dog kicked up with his front paws, pulling the loop around his body.   
  
"Now! Pull them in now!"  
  
And Reno pulled.   
  
Perfect Tommy and Pecos had caught up and hurried to help pull the dog and his preciouse targo to shore.   
  
"Come on, Oddity." Knuckles continued to call. She stepped out into the water until she was thiegh deep.  
  
"Careful, Knuckles." New Jersey warned. The water was too fast and too cold. Both conditions too dangerouse for the lone girl to wander too deep.  
  
Exhausted, it was all Oddity could do to hold onto the child in his teath. By shear determination, he did not let go. Even as Knuckles wrapped her arms around him and dragged him the rest of the way to shore, he would not release his hold. Not until Knuckles gave the command.  
  
"Release! Good, boy!" Knuckles hugged her pet close as New Jersey carried the toddler further back on shore. She tore off her coat and wrapped it around the shivering dog, rubbing her hands over him, scratching his ears and his chest, and doing every rewarding thing she could think of. "You're such a good boy. You are a great boy. You are a fantastic boy."  
  
Perfect Tommy stood over them. He frowned. "Sounds like our last night out."  
  
Knuckles grinned up at him, then quickly turned back Oddity.  
  
By the time Buckaroo and Peggy reached them, Knuckles and Oddity were rolling on the ground, therely enjoying each other, despite both being exhausted.  
  
New Jersey looked up at them as the little girl in his arms, securely wrapped in his coat, wailed at having such a rude afternoon. He smiled. "She's fine." His nose wrinkled. "In a bit of a need of a change, but fine."  
  
Buckaroo returned his smile. "Start back for the road. Rawhide's going to need back up with the prisoner." he told them. Then he made his way to Knuckles. He crouched down beside her and grinned.  
  
The fierce bounty hunter was lying on her back, her Austrain shepard spread out over top of her, chewing on her arm. Knuckles giggled, shaking her arm, which brought a playful, but weak growl from the dog.   
  
Buckaroo reached out and patted the dog's head. "Good boy, Oddity. You are one great dog."   
  
Knuckles beamed.  
  
Buckaroo noted the dog's shivering and tired state. "Is he alright?"   
  
Knuckles sighed, running her hands down his side. "He should be alright. Warm him up, feed him, rest..."  
  
"And a huge 6" steak on me." Buckaroo offered. "Well, lets get to it. No one on my team goes without care."  
  
Again Knuckles beamed.  
  
Perfect Tommy crossed his arms over his chest. "On the team, eh, mut?" he mumbled to the dog who looked up at him with his sparkling blue eyes and barked. "Well, then, I can officially say it... Don't ever chew on my guitar again!" He took the leash and lead the dog back the way they had come. "And my leather loafers... or should I say loafer? I wouldn't exactly call the left one a shoe any longer. And would you happen to know where my fighting staff is? Oh, and exactly who slobered all over my socks?" 


	2. Ch 2

Ode to Oddity  
by the Chronicler  
  
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Ch. 2  
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"Woe!" Rawhide fanned his nose with a hand. "What did you step in?"  
  
Perfect Tommy glared at him. He tugged on his collar-less silk shirt, before slipping into the tuxedo jacket.   
  
Knuckles laughed. "Kinda reminds me of a lemer." When confused glances was the only response she received, she explained further. "All pretty and fluffy, but when it comes to warfare they throw their scent at one another."  
  
The occupants of the room listened, thought, looked Perfect Tommy up and down, then broke into laughter.  
  
"Funny. Ha ha." P.T mumbled. "But why are you all laughing at me when we're dressing up to go to an award ceremony for a mutt?"  
  
Knuckles sat up. "Oddity is not a mutt! He is a pure bred silver Austrian shepard! And he deserves an award. He could of died saving that kid!" She stepped up close, daring him to say anything counter to her claim. "I didn't see you jumping into no damn river."  
  
A bark from the star of the night drew their attention. Oddity ran into the room just before Peggy. He wore a bow tie and a doggy tux.  
  
"Ha!" Perfect Tommy pointed at the dog. "Now that is funny!"  
  
Oddity sniffed at him, then, with a shake of his head, sneezed.  
  
"Ha!" Pecos returned. "Now that is funny!"  
  
----------  
  
The govoner putting a medal around a dogs neck was not unheard of, not in the least. There were even special awards for animals who performed heroic deeds.   
  
But this was the first for the Blue Blazes and the Hong Kong Cavaliers. But, hey, who were they to turn down a reason to celebrate? And they spent the night celebrating at the Jessie James Club.  
  
Heads fuzzy, ears buzzing, eyes bleary from drink and the late hour, the Blue Blazes began to file out to the World Watch One.  
  
Perfect Tommy leaned Knuckles against the door frame with the excuse that he was making room for the others to move out the door.  
  
Knuckles tried to frown, but it came out more as a giggle. "You are such a dweeb." she reprimanded.  
  
"Yea.... but I'm a perfect dweeb." Tommy glanced over at his shoulder at Rawhide as he herded the last of the BB out of the Jessie James Club and toward the bus. "Hey, what's a dweeb, anyway?"  
  
Rawhide shook his head. "It means you are too drunk for me to take advantage of the situation and tell you exactly what dweeb means." he set a strong hand on the younger man's shoulder, pulled him away from Knuckles, and gave him a not-so-gentle shove toward the bus.   
  
Knuckles waved at him as he stumbled away.   
  
Rawhide grinned. "Great swing-dig, girl." he offered. He nodded toward Oddity who stumbled around the parking lot, wining and yipping as his guest left. "Oddity deserved a little congrads. He is a great dog."  
  
Knuckles took a deep breath, wavered slightly, and smiled. "I like him." Then her nose scrunched up and she scratched her head. "Hey, can you take care of him next week? A bounty is coming back into the country and I've gotta go pick him up. But it's in the city and oddity is a country dog."  
  
The cowboy nodded. "Yea. love to have him. He can ride fences with me." he answered though his attention seemed to drift in another direction.  
  
A group of children, all dressed in black sweat shirts with hoods pulled up, were approaching Buckaroo as he was trying to get an accurate count of the Blue Blazes as the climbed aboard the bus, ran off again, or, just plain old pushed each other out the windows. Frustrated, he threw up his hands and hollered "That's it! This is the last time I'm taking you anywhere!" His mock anger quickly faded when he spotted the children.  
  
"Hey, mister, you're Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers, ain't ya?" one asked.  
  
Never one to miss an opportunity at being the center of attention, Perfect Tommy quickly jumped out of the bus. "Yup. We certainly are!"  
  
Rawhide frowned, the fuzziness of the drink quickly fading. "Anything seem funny about that to you?" he asked Knuckles.  
  
Knuckles turned about to see. "What? You mean a bunch of black hooded ten year olds hangin' out in the parking lot of an over-21 club at three am askin' for autographs from the HKC which no one knew was here?" She shrugged. "Nothin' funny 'bout that."   
  
"Yea... me too." Rawhide agreed. "Sober?"  
  
"Am now." Her tone was suddenly crisp and clear. She was too well trained, too experience, to let a few drinks get in the way of action.  
  
Despite the children's focus seemingly to be all on his boss, Perfect Tommy babbled on about the band and where they were next to play and what he was going to where.  
  
Buckaroo smiled and let him go on. he much rather let Perfect Tommy be the center of everything... he was so perfect at it. Besides, keeping his balanced seemed to be a main concern of the moment as Oddity had squeezed his head between his knees, trying to get a better look at the newcomers.  
  
Oddity sniffed at the children. His ears twitched. Then, to Buckaroo's surprise and dismay, lowered his head and snarled.  
  
"Hey, there, boy." Buckaroo reached down and grabbed the dog by the collar just as he lunged at the closest of the children. "Hey! Oddity! Down!" he yelled.  
  
But Oddity had managed to snatch a black sleeve. As Buckaroo hauled him back, he whipped his head about, ripping the sweat shirt and throwing the child to the ground.  
  
"Bad, Oddity! Bad dog!" Buckaroo snapped.   
  
Reno, coming back off the bus to see what the commotion was, quickly grabbed Oddity and pulled the fighting dog further back from the children.  
  
Buckaroo turned back to the fallen child to be sure that he was alright. but stopped.   
  
Something very different than what he expected laid on the ground before him. Sweat shirt torn off, revealing a short little thing with a bearded chin and hard, mean eyes... and a .44 magnum coming up at him.   
  
Perfect Tommy moved quickly, kicking the gun aside, but, before he could do anything else, he was set upon by the other so-called children, one on each limb while three others went after Buckaroo.  
  
"Death Dwarves!" Reno yelled, releasing the oddity who lunged forward once again. The cavalier reached back for his gun only to grab at empty air.   
  
Of course, Knuckles didn't allow anyone who was drinking to carry guns in the Jessie James Club. All of their weapons were locked in the armory in the bus.... out of reach of those who needed them now!  
  
Oddity's head turned just enough as he leaped passed to snatch one of Buckaroo's little attackers and drag him down to the ground. teeth securely latched of the death dwarf's arm, oddity began to shake his head violently, whipping the little evil doer back and forth.  
  
Rawhide ran onto the scene, and, without taking the time to aim, delivered a solid kick at the death dwarf attached to Buckaroo's left leg. It was not only enough force to detach the attacker, but send him flying through the air in a roll to crash into the first who had just been climbing to his feet.  
  
"Damn, they're ugly." Knuckles observed as she hesitated in coming to Perfect Tommy's aid.  
  
"Well, they have sharp teeth! Get the little bugger off!" Perfect Tommy yelled, trying to shake his arms free.  
  
His efforts managed to knock one free, but only to rile him enough draw a gun and take aim at the Cavalier.  
  
But, before he could fire, Oddity, rolling on the ground with his current victim, slammed into the gunman, sending his shot wild.  
  
Startled cries came from inside the World Watch One as the bullet bounced of the armor platting.   
  
Sensing the gun as the greater threat, Oddity released his current hold, and spun about to face the new challenge. Crouching down, he barked wildly.  
  
Knuckles wrapped an arm around another death dwarf's throat and pride him off of Perfect Tommy's leg.   
  
The little man spun about and swung at her with an equally little dagger.  
  
"Hey, you little creaton." She shoved him back, accidentally slamming him into Tommy again, knocking the Cavalier and his attackers down to the ground.  
  
Reno rushed toward the only gun currently in view... which just happened to be aimed at Oddity.  
  
Though his attention stayed mostly on the gunman, Oddity's first victim kept trying to grab the dog from the side, forcing him to bounce about, switching between snapping at one and barking at the gun.  
  
Reno arrived just in time. Occupied with the dog, the little gunman never saw the mean cavalier coming at him. With a hard fist, Reno made contact with his jaw, slamming him back to the ground. Reno quickly jumped on top of him and grabbed for the gun.  
  
But death dwarves might be stupid, but they were also stubborn. He latched on to his weapon with both hands and struggled with the larger man.  
  
Reno had size, leverage, and was even meaner than any death dwarf.... at least when the end of a great night ended up like this. With one more good hit, the death dwarf was knocked out, relinquishing his gun to the Cavalier.   
  
Rawhide was busy dodging the swinging knife of a dwarf, keeping himself between the attacker and Buckaroo's back.   
  
Buckaroo was just sending his last attacker flying through the air to slam into the front of the bus.  
  
Perfect Tommy kicked his feet, sending a dwarf rolling away only to come within Knuckles' reach. her response to his presence was quick and sudden. She stepped on him, using him as a boost to leap after another of the enemy who was making a run for it.  
  
Then the Blue Blazes were off the bus and, within a breath's time, swarmed over the enemy. And then it was over.  
  
Oddity ran around the action, barking wildly. Every time he came within reach, he snapped at one of the prisoners, but the BBs scooted him away. Finally, satisfied that he was no longer needed, he flopped down on the ground at Knuckles feet and rested his chin on his paws.  
  
"Some one want to tell me what that was about?" Knuckles growled. her dog wined at her tone, but was too tired to put up any more of a protest. The bounty hunter was mad. And for good reason. Not only was her good night ruin, the action had chased away the alcohol in her system, bringing on the hangover way too soon.  
  
Buckaroo sighed, felling similar effects. "That was what it always is. Bad guys making themselves an annoyance. Good guys... and dog.... showing them that that is not always the wisest course of action." he answered. He dragged himself over to where Perfect Tommy still laid on the ground, staring up at the stars. "You okay down there?"  
  
"Hmmm?" Perfect Tommy blinked up at him. "Oh... oh, yea... Did you know that when one is plastered out of his mind, the cold cement makes a very comfortable... something?"  
  
Buckaroo smiled. "Reno?" he called... a little too loudly he noticed when half his people winced.  
  
"I WAS fine." Reno grumbled. "I was hoping to wait until the morning before the ritual cursing of alcohol... but, hey, why put of 'till tomorrow...."  
  
"What do we do with them?" Knuckles asked, nodding toward the death dwarves which the rest of the BBs had tied up.  
  
"Who wants to hang around for sirens and cops?" Rawhide asked.  
  
In perfect harmony, the group moaned.  
  
Buckaroo shrugged. He reached down and dragged Perfect Tommy to his feet. "Leave them tied up. we'll call the cops to pick them when we get back to the Institute. Knuckles, you wanna come to my place?"  
  
"Oh, what would your wife say?" Knuckles cooed.  
  
"She'd say here's the ice, here's the aspirin, here's the guest room." Buckaroo assured with a grin.  
  
"I'll share my room." Perfect Tommy offered.  
  
"Yea, right." Knuckles slid under his arm, and supported Tommy as she lead him up the steps and into the bus. "Bet you can't even find your room."  
  
"Bet you're right." Perfect Tommy leaned into her. "Wanna help?"  
  
The Blue Blazes quickly reboarded the bus. The door closed, the engine roared.  
  
Oddity barked.  
  
The door opened.  
  
"Oddity, come!"  
  
The dog raced aboard, loudly barking happily.  
  
Another harmonized hangover groan.  
  
The door closed and the bus drove away, leaving eight death dwarves, tied and gagged, in a pile in the middle of the parking lot of the Jessie James Club. 


	3. Ch 3

Ode to Oddity  
by the Chronicler  
  
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Chapter Three  
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Buckaroo nearly lost his balance as Oddity raced down the hall, a leather loafer locked securely in his jaws.   
  
"You mutt!" Perfect Tommy hollered, taking chase. "Come back here!"  
  
The Austrian Shepherd paused at the top of the stairs and looked back. Hunkering down playfully, he growled and shook the shoe. He waited until his pursuer was nearly on top of him before leaping back, under Perfect Tommy's tackle and headed back down the hall.  
  
Missing his target, the young Cavalier hit, shoulder first on the top step, then proceeded to roll down the stairs with a series of "ouch", "Umf!" "Son of a..." "Damn..." "Mutt!" And finally a loud thud marked the hitting of the bottom step and a snarled "That hurt."  
  
Oddity dropped the shoe and stuck his head through the rails to bark at his victim. He waited for an answering growl, assuring him that the game was not yet up, then spun about, snatched up his prize, and pranced back down the hall, passing Buckaroo and Peggy who, smartly, were now plastered against the wall.  
  
Peggy grinned and looked up at her husband. "I just can't think of anything that could possibly describe what just happened." she admitted.  
  
Buckaroo shrugged, equally at a loss for words.  
  
But, as Perfect Tommy climbed back up the stairs, bumped and bruised, he had a description to offer. "That was a royal pain in the butt and MY $76 shoe." he growled, stomping pass them, following the path he knew his nemesis had taken.   
  
"Um... Didn't he already eat the other one?" Buckaroo inquired.  
  
Perfect Tommy's head snapped around to lock smoldering eyes on his employer. "It! Is! The! Principle! Of! It!" he snarled.  
  
Buckaroo lifted his head slightly. "Ah... o-kay." he waved the younger man on. "Carry on."  
  
Tommy's eyes snapped around to lock on Oddity who waited patiently for him at the end of the hall. "Hey, Oddity... did you know in some cultures, folks actually EAT dogs?"   
  
Once on his way, Peggy wondered "You think he's gonna hurt him?"  
  
"Perfect Tommy or Oddity?"   
  
Again, Peggy was left unsure of what to say.   
  
Rawhide poked his head out of the BunkHouse. "Safe?"  
  
"For now." Buckaroo and Peggy ducked in. "How long has that been going on?" Buckaroo wondered indicating the hall with a nod.   
  
"Oh, since I picked up Oddity... what? Four hours ago?" Rawhide glanced at Reno for confirmation.   
  
Reno turned the page of his newspaper, offering a simple "Yup."  
  
Buckaroo rubbed his the bridge of his nose as a crash and a startled cry from Mrs Johnson came from down the hall. "And how long will Knuckles be out of town?" he wondered.  
  
"A week."   
  
"Oh.... Goody." Buckaroo groaned.  
  
Peggy elbowed him in the ribs. "Aw, come on. You love having someone around to keep Perfect Tommy occupied. At least we know where he is by the tell tale crashes and curses."   
  
Reno set his paper down and tilted his head to one side, listening. "Which has, suspiciously, ceased." he pointed out. Rising to his feet, he went to the door. "Um... Rawhide?"  
  
"Um.... what?" Rawhide responded sounding suddenly concerned. He came up to look over the writer's shoulder.  
  
Reno pointed to Oddity who was standing at the head of the stairs, a new prize clutched in his teeth. "Isn't that your boot?"  
  
"Hey!" Rawhide took chase, which Oddity excitedly responded to by spinning about and racing down the stairs and out the front door.  
  
The three Cavaliers left in the Bunkhouse raced to the window and looked out just in time to see the big cowboy take a rather undignified leap at the dog.   
  
"Oooh." Peggy winced as Rawhide nailed the dog and the two went rolling across the ground.  
  
"I bet on Rawhide." Reno offered.  
  
"Hmm... I think I'll have to go with Oddity." Buckaroo responded.   
  
Peggy leaned out the window between the two men. "I bet on the boot."  
  
"Hey, Boss." Billy called coming into the room and headed straight for the computer center. He paused when he noticed the three at the window. "Um... boss, if there isn't a war going on out there.... I have something you need to see."  
  
Buckaroo sighed and turned from the window. "There is a war, but I have a feeling we'll see plenty of reruns over the next week."  
  
Billy frowned.  
  
Buckaroo chuckled, crossing the room to stand behind his computer. "Don't worry about it." He waved to the computer. "What do you have?"  
  
"Ouch!" Reno hissed from the window. "Can I change my bet?"  
  
"No, no.... wait..." Peggy said excitedly. "Ha! He's got it! He.... never mind."  
  
Billy's frown deepened. It took some amount of self control to tare his attention away from the window and to the subject he had felt most urgant.   
  
"You know how I was running a search for Lectroids?" Fingers danced across the key board. "Crossing probable targets with Johns with odd sur-names and such?"  
  
Buckaroo pulled up a chair to sit beside him. "That must have come up with a pretty long list."  
  
"No, not really." Billy answered, his fingers still typing away. "Threw in a few dates and locations and the Yoyodyne info and I get very few names with very percise information." With a final swat at the enter key, Billy leaned back. "Like now."  
  
Buckaroo looked the screen over. After a moment, he sighed. "So, you think this John Dork is going to go after the spent fuel rods?"  
  
Billy shrugged. "I'd bet good money on it." He hit another key. "And they are right now sitting at a New York train yard in which John Dork works."  
  
Dr Banzai slowly nodded. he tapped his go-phone. "Mrs Johnson? Call in the troops."  
  
"Woe!" Peggy ducked under the window sill and looked up at Reno. "I didn't know a boot could do that."  
  
Reno simply stared out the window, jaw hanging open. 


	4. Ch 4

Ode to Oddity  
  
by The Chronicler  
  
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Chapter Four  
  
----------  
  
Oddity growled.  
  
Almost absent mindedly, Buckaroo Banzai's hand dropped down to the animal's head and gently scratched.   
  
Reassured that his humans were also aware of the going ons, Oddity quieted.  
  
Ahead of them, nearly two hundred yards, searching train cars that were sitting on a track waiting to be shipped out, were three Lectroids and six human street punks.   
  
Buckaroo smiled slightly.   
  
Billy had been right. John Dork was out to get his hands on a dangerous, radioactive shipment of spent fuel rods. Billy's search program had come through just in the nick of time. They were able to call ahead and have the shipment moved on out of the city before the aliens could get to the train yard. Moments, minutes later... if they had chosen to watch the fight over the boot rather than look at Billy's findings... they would be standing here trying to figure out how to avoid a deadly nuclear confrontation.  
  
A rock rolled across the ground and a hissed string of curses sounded from behind Buckaroo.  
  
The Doctor glanced back at Rawhide and frowned.  
  
The cowboy shrugged as he crouched down to rub his toe. "Got a hole in my boot." he complained quietly.  
  
Buckaroo smiled as he turned forward again. "Shouldn't let the dog chew on it."  
  
A chuckle from Perfect Tommy drew a glare from Rawhide.  
  
"I'd still like to know just how he got his teeth on it." Rawhide growled.  
  
Perfect Tommy quickly turned his attention away, feigning innocence. "What's the hap, boss?" he asked Buckaroo.  
  
"The `hap' is that as long as the bad guys are looking for them, those fuel rods are in danger of falling into some very bad hands." Buckaroo answered.  
  
"So?" P.T. shrugged. "We've already shipped them buggers on out of here. Call the cops and lets go home. Hey, maybe drop by the Club for a round of beers? Eh?" He started to turn and head back to their vehicles, but Rawhide grabbed his arm and dragged him back.  
  
Buckaroo had orders to give. "Spread out, but stay behind cover. Move in quiet as close as you can get then wait for my signal. And, let's not kill anyone unless we have to."  
  
"Well, damn." Pecos mumbled. "And I thought this was gonna be fun."  
  
"Hey." Reno Nevada attempted to consul her. "He didn't say we couldn't maim a couple of them."  
  
Pecos perked up. "Really?"  
  
"Come on, folks." Rawhide reprimanded. "Snap to! These are still bad guys. They still have guns. And, last I look, bullets kill Blue Blazes as easily as they kill anyone else."  
  
"Not me!" Perfect Tommy protested. "I'm so damn perfect I'm immortal."  
  
Buckaroo patted his young friend on the shoulder. "Good to hear it, Perfect Tommy. You have point."  
  
The youngest Cavalier snapped about to stare at him. His mouth worked as if to protest, but, seeing his employer's expression, knew he didn't have a chance. With a few grumbled curses and something about "big mouth," Perfect Tommy moved forward.  
  
Oddity instantly came up and started after, but, not trusting the animal's since of caution, Buckaroo held him back.   
  
"Stay." he ordered softly. Then motioned for Pinky Carruthers, and Pecos to spread out to his left. Reno Nevada, Billy Travers, and Rawhide went to his right. Big Norse and Peggy were with the bus as back up. "Alrighty, boy. Stay with me." Buckaroo started after Perfect Tommy.  
  
----------  
  
John Dork slapped a hand against the steel car. He turned accusing eyes on his cohort. "You said, John Twit, that they would be here!"  
  
"They are here, John Dork!" his comrade snapped back. A little weaker, he added "They are supposed to be here."  
  
John Pinhead shrugged and offered up the obvious. "Well, they aren't here."  
  
One of the six street punks leaned into one of his fellows. "Are these guys for real? I mean, come on, do you hear what they call each other?"  
  
"As long as they're cash is real, I don't give a damn what they call each other." his buddy answered.  
  
A ways down the track a train whistle blew.  
  
"Yoe... umm... Johns? Dudes?" the first punk waved at the three aliens. "You know, they might have already been shipped out."  
  
John Dork glared at him. Without hesitation, he aimed his revolver, fired, and, without waiting to see the punk fall, turned back to his companions. "So, if they've been shipped out, where would they go?"  
  
----------  
  
Perfect Tommy winced as the punk was slammed back against the steel wheel well which he had taken cover behind. When the body dropped to the ground, head rolling so that the dead eyes locked with the Cavalier, his own heart nearly stopped.   
  
"Call the cops. Go for beer." he mumbled to himself after he recovered. "Call cops, go for beer, call cops, go for beer, call cops, go for beer..."   
  
A soft whistle came from the go-phone on Perfect Tommy's wrist. Buckaroo's signal.  
  
Well, now or....  
  
"I really wanna call the cops and go for beers." P.T. complained one more time before rising up and revealing himself to the bad guys. "Who wants a beer?" he asked.  
  
Eight guns were instantly pointed at him.  
  
Perfect Tommy's eyebrows rose. "Okay, you're not beer guys. Brandy? Whiskey? Bloody Mary?"  
  
"Like that bloody idea." one of the punks said with a grin, cocking his weapon.   
  
The cold steel of Reno's .45 automatic pressed against the back of the street punk's neck. "That would be a very bad idea." he said in a low, deep growl.  
  
"It's Banzai's marauders!" John Twit screamed, dropping his weapon, turning, and running.  
  
"Cavaliers, you.... you... twit!" John Dork roared, bringing his revolver up once again. "Not marauders! Cavaliers!"  
  
"They die all the same, don't they, John Dork?" John Pinhead wondered, sounding bored, He didn't waste time to aim. He just began to pull the trigger.  
  
Perfect Tommy ducked back under cover.   
  
Reno slammed the barrel of his gun against the punk's head, knocking him out, then dove for the cover of a train car.  
  
Buckaroo stepped out, fired twice, taking two punks down, then disappeared behind a barrel. "Pecos, get me that runner." he ordered through his go-phone.  
  
"Read ya, boss man. Oddity!" she called the dog after her, knowing his four legs were better than her two when it came to a chase.  
  
Rawhide's voice shouted out "Watch out for the Lectroids!"   
  
"Like we need reminding." Pinky mumbled, moving in from behind the enemy. Not that taking a man down from behind was his preferred tactic, but, hey, these weren't men... these were killer bug spitting bad guy aliens. Thus, he aimed and fired.  
  
John Pinhead fired at anything that moved, and most everything that didn't move, pinning not only the Cavaliers down, but also the street punks. But then Pinky's bullet nailed him in the back. With a grunt, he stumbled forward, but one bullet wasn't enough to take him down.  
  
Pinky fired again, but then John Dork turned toward him and he was forced back under cover. But he had given his comrades the momentary relief needed to leap into action.  
  
Perfect Tommy leaped over the wheel well, kicking out at the nearest of the punks in the jaw. Landing with all the grace of a cat, he spun about, dropped down beside his victim and finished him off with an elbow to his temple.  
  
Reno rushed another of the punks, taking him down with a full tackle. They slammed into the ground with such force both were stunned for a moment.   
  
But Billy was close behind Reno, and he hurried in to finish the punk off before he could recover with a nasty strike at his nose.  
  
Buckaroo and Rawhide went after the two Lectroids.  
  
As John Dork was distracted by the retreating Pinky Carruthers, Buckaroo moved in from his right. "Alright, lay down your weapon!" he ordered, holding his own at the ready.  
  
That got John Pinhead's attention. But, as he turned to take a shot at the leader of the Hong kong Cavaliers, he didn't even see Rawhide's hug fist that collided with his head, slamming him to the ground.   
  
Stunned, but still operational, Pinhead rolled onto his back and aimed his weapon up.   
  
Rawhide kicked, the toe of his boot catching him in the wrist and sending the weapon spinning through the air to land somewhere out of reach.   
  
Calling on his last line of defense, John Pinhead sucked up air to spit.  
  
But, Rawhide had seen one to many killer bug spit in his days. He wasn't interested in seeing another. So, he slammed his foot straight down, smashing the bug before it even had the opportunity to leave Pinhead's mouth.   
  
Assured that John pinhead was no longer a threat, Rawhide turned to John Dork, but Buckaroo was finishing him off with a round house kick that snapped his head around and dropping him unconscious to the ground.   
  
"Everyone in one piece?" Rawhide called out to the others, spinning about to count heads.  
  
Reno sat on the ground, Billy crouched beside him. Perfect Tommy, breathing heavily, leaned against the wheel well. Pinky Carruthers stepped out from behind him and waved his assurances that he was sill alive and well.   
  
"Now..." Perfect Tommy huffed, "Now, can we go get a beer?"  
  
----------  
  
Pecos pointed out ahead of her. "Cross the tracks." she called to the dog running at her side. "Get 'im, boy!"  
  
With a growl, Oddity leaped ahead of her. head down and stretched out, he ran like only a dog could do, racing over the ground, and closing in on the escaping John Twit.  
  
A train whistle sounded, warning those around the tracks that a train was getting closer.  
  
Pecos hesitated, looking about to catch sight of the approaching vehicle. It was still a few hundred yards off; plenty of time to get across the tracks. She quickened her step again. She jumped the first rail, but, as her left foot came down it caught between two planks of the track, tripping her.  
  
The Cavalier cried out as her ankle twisted and she fell toward the ground. Her head slammed into the steel rail with a loud thwack and Pecos blacked out.  
  
Hearing her cry, both Oddity and John Twit skidded to a halt and turned to see what was happening.  
  
With a worried yipe, the dog raced back toward the Cavalier.  
  
John Twit grinned  
  
Oddity leaped across the rails and immediately laid down beside his fallen human. Wining softly, he nuzzled his damp nose into the crock of her neck.  
  
Pecos' head rolled and she moaned, but did not wake up.  
  
Again the train whistled. It was getting closer.  
  
Frantically, Oddity leaped to his feet and, switching between barking and licking her face, he tried to wake her. But, still, nothing.  
  
"Out of the way, flea bag, and I'll end it quickly for her." John Twit offered, patting himself down for his gun. But, as Oddity turned on him with a snarl, he remembered he dropped his weapon back when the main fight first broke out.   
  
Oddity leaped at him, digging his teeth deep into the lectroid's arm and wiping his head about so as to drag the alien away from the Cavalier.  
  
With a scream, John Twit raised his fist and punched Oddity.  
  
Yelping, the dog fell back, and the alien stumbled away. But, with a shake of his head, Oddity attacked again.  
  
John Twit snatched up a steel rod from the ground and raised it up to strike the animal.  
  
A shot rang out and a bullet struck the lectroid in the chest.  
  
"ah!" John Twit cried, putting a hand over the wound. Shocked, he looked down Pecos. "You shot me!" he accused.  
  
"Gee, you are as smart as you look." Pecos growled.  
  
John Twit raised the rod again.  
  
Pecos emptied her weapon into the alien's chest.  
  
Stumbling back, John Twit fell to the ground, dead.  
  
Oddity sniffed at him a moment, assuring himself that that danger was done with. Another train whistle brought his attention back to the fallen Cavalier.  
  
"Oh, god." pecos whispered when she saw how close the train was. "Oddity! Help!" she cried, trying to turn over to reach her foot and pull it free. But her ankle was already swelling and her boot was securely trapped.  
  
Oddity was at her side at once. Seeing the problem, he gently grabbed the boot between his teeth and pulled, but to no avail.  
  
"Pull, Oddity! Pull!" Pecos continued to cry.   
  
The train whistle continued to scream at them, warning them to get out of the way.  
  
Snarling his frustration, Oddity chewed on the boot, ripping through the leather.  
  
Pecos glanced around for help only to see her fellow Cavaliers far off... too far off to get to her before the train would. She pulled on her foot, but there was no hope. It was stuck good.  
  
Squeezing her eyes closed, she excepted her fate. She had time for only one last thing. She lifted her wrist and whispered into her go-phone "Reno..."  
  
----------  
  
Reno Nevada's head snapped about. "Pecos?" Now, where did she run off.... "Oh my god." Reno gasped. "Pecos!:"   
  
Buckaroo and Rawhide glanced at him, then followed his gaze down to where the tracks ran through the train yard. There, laying across the center track, was Pecos and Oddity. And a speeding train was nearly on top of them.   
  
Only a white fluff at that distance, Oddity stumbled away with a jerk. Then raced to Pecos shoulders.   
  
But then the train was there, brakes squealing, engine roaring, blocking any sign of what had happened to the pair.  
  
"No!" Reno cried, running toward the tracks, Buckaroo and Rawhide close on his heals.   
  
"It's too late." Perfect Tommy spoke the cold truth, but he too ran after.   
  
Within minutes they reached the train tracks.   
  
"Where is she?" Reno cried desperately, crouching down to try and see under the train. If not for Rawhide's restraining hold, the Cavalier would of thrown himself under in search for the woman he loved.   
  
No one offered any comforting words as they waited for the train to slow to a stop. There were no comforting words that could be offered.   
  
"Peggy." Buckaroo called into his go-phone. "We have.... casualties."   
  
The last of the long steel cars finally passed.   
  
The Cavaliers stood in shock, jaws hanging open.   
  
Oddity's tail kicked up dust as it patted the ground. He barked happily in greeting at the men, while pawing at the air as if waving hello. Pecos sat beside him, her arms wrapped tightly around the dog. Her boot was gone, her sock torn, her ankle swollen and scratched from teeth, the shoulder of her shirt torn, a large red goose egg on her head... but she was alive. They were both alive!  
  
"Pecos!" Reno cried again, rushing forward to scoop his woman up in his arms and hug her with all his might.  
  
"Ouch." Pecos complained, but didn't push him away.  
  
Buckaroo, on the other hand, had to push the Cavalier aside so as to get a good look at the girl's wounds. He took her by the chin and tilted her head up so he could see her eyes and check for a concussion.   
  
She smiled up at him. "I agree with Perfect Tommy." she mumbled. "Lets call the cops and go for beers."  
  
"Ha! Finally!" Perfect Tommy hooted. "Finally someone with some sense!"  
  
Oddity barked his agreement.  
  
----------  
  
Perfect Tommy winced.  
  
Pecos and New Jersey glanced at him.   
  
He shrugged. "Looked like it hurt."  
  
"Well, it did." Pecos mumbled, turning a glare on her attending physician.  
  
New Jersey glared back. "I keep telling you guys: duck!" He held the back of her head while holding an ice pack to the ugly, red goose egg on her forehead.  
  
"I hit my head on a train track." Pecos pointed out. "Exactly how was I supposed to duck THAT?"  
  
Jersey shrugged. "You're the geniuses. Use your h..."  
  
"Umm, doc?" Perfect Tommy pointed at their friend's head. "That, I do believe, was the problem."  
  
Pecos started to turn to glare at Tommy, but, with sigh, shrugged. "My head hurts too much to glare. Throw something at him, will you, Jersey?"  
  
"Yea? And have another head to patch up?" Jersey shook his head. He took her hand and put it up to hold the ice pack. Then turned to pack up his first aid bag.  
  
"Fine. Oddity?" She looked down at the dog who had yet to leave her side since he had pulled her free of the charging locomotive. "Come to my rescue again?"  
  
The dog's head came up, his bright blue eyes looking up, first, at Pecos, then turned on Perfect Tommy. He barked once, then lowered his head to his paws again and wined, his tail swooshing in the dirt.  
  
Pecos laughed, wincing as her head echoed with with her own sound. "So there!"  
  
Perfect Tommy glared down at Oddity and accused "Traitor!"   
  
Buckaroo grinned as he and Rawhide came walking back to the bus from where they had been finishing up the details with the local law enforcement.   
  
"Where's Reno?" Pecos wanted to know.  
  
"Buying a cow." Rawhide answered.   
  
When the only response was confused glances, Buckaroo explained further "Apparently he didn't think just one steak would be enough for our furry companion this time."  
  
As if he understood every word, Oddity came to his feet and began to bark excitedly.  
  
"Oddity!" Pecos groaned, her hands covering her ears.   
  
Rawhide shook his head, grabbing the dog by the collar. "Lets pack up and go home, people. Oddity isn't the only one that deserves a good thick steak."  
  
"Pizza." Perfect Tommy corrected, practically leaping into the bus.  
  
"I'll take a steak." Pecos said, following her friend.  
  
"You'll have eggs and some other tummy easy food for 24." Jersey corrected, following her. "I want to make sure you're head doesn't explode on us." He smiled. "'Course, I'm in the mood for some chicken."   
  
Sighing, Rawhide turned to Buckaroo.  
  
Buckaroo shrugged. "I was rather hoping for a tuna salad." he admitted.  
  
"Why do I even try?" Rawhide groaned.  
  
Banzai grinned. "Because you are a self sacrificing man and we love you for it." He glanced down at the dog who sat patiently under Rawhide's hand, his tail swooshing in the dirt. "Besides, Oddity will always be around to share a steak with." And, with that, and a little encouragement being laid on the horn of the bus by a hungry hoard, Buckaroo skipped on up.  
  
Again Rawhide sighed, shaking his head. But he sent Oddity up the steps and followed himself, yelling "The next person to touch that air horn is going to lose fingers!" 


	5. Ch5

Ode to Oddity  
  
By the Chronicler  
  
----------  
  
Chapter Five  
  
----------  
  
Pinky Carruthers continued to stare at the man, waiting for him to agree.  
  
But his fellow gatekeeper continued to be a disbeliever. "But... but everyone knows he said it!" he protested.  
  
Pinky crossed his arms over his chest. "Everyone knows wrong." he pointed out. "Sherlock Holmes never, ever, not once said `Elementary, my dear Watson.'"  
  
The man continued to frown. "If that's so, then why doesn't everyone know?" he wanted to know.  
  
"Well..." Pinky said slowly, carefully, making sure the man was paying close attention to him, "that would explain why they are called `Unknown facts,' right?"  
  
His friend's eyes narrowed. "If they're unknown, then how do YOU know them?"  
  
Pinky Carruthers opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by Mrs Eunice Johnson.  
  
"Now, that is the million dollar question, isn't it?" she teased as she slauntered up to the gate, Oddity on a leash at her side. She grinned up at Pinky, waiting for his response.  
  
But Carruthers was too big brotherish to let the goading get in the way of more important issues. "And just exactly where were the two of you headed?" he inquired, eyeing both dog and girl suspiciously.  
  
"Oh... let me see." She held her arms out and turned in a circle looking down at her blue sweat pants, BB t-shirt, sweat bands, white jogging shoes, and walkman. "I'm going to the queen's ball." she answered with a wry smirk.   
  
One eye brow raised over Pinky's eyes, a somewhat odd version of a Spock expression when, once again, struck with humanity's strangeness. "And he?" was all he said, indicating the dog with a twitch of a finger.  
  
"Oddity?" Mrs Johnson shrugged. "You don't expect a knock out like me to go to the ball without a prince, do you?"  
  
The other gatekeeper chuckled. "You'd better kiss that prince of yours mighty quick 'fore you catch his fleas." he advised.  
  
Both Pinky and Eunice glanced at him, then turned away, choosing to ignore him rather than bother with a come back.  
  
When Pinky didn't open the gate, Mrs Johnson sighed. "Rawhide isn't going riding today, doesn't have time to give Oddity a good run. And if someone doesn't ware him out, someone else loses shoes. So, I thought I'd take him for a jog around the neighborhood."  
  
The gatekeeper frowned at her. "You know bad guy activity has been on a high of late."  
  
"Yes, I know." she answered in a bored sort of tone, like a teenager explaining to an over protective parent that she was old enough to go down the slide all on her lonesome. "And I happen to be armed, I have my go-phone, and I have Oddity." She leaned forward, while winking down at the dog who waited patiently at her side. "You know, Oddity has had a pretty good record thus far when it comes to the bad guys of late." she pointed out.  
  
"Thus far of late." Pinky Carruthers repeated, unconvinced. But he looked down at Oddity.  
  
The dog sat back on his haunches, looking up at him with his blue eyed grin, his tail kicking up dirt as it wagged back and forth in a steady rhythm. Sensing that he was the decision maker, Oddity lifted a front paw and waved it at the gatekeeper.  
  
Carruthers sighed. "Think so, huh?" He turned back to the girl. "Don't go far, keep in touch, and I give you fifteen..."  
  
"Thirty."  
  
"Twenty."  
  
"Twenty-five."  
  
Pinky looked down at Oddity. "Twenty." he repeated.  
  
Oddity barked once.  
  
"Good man." Pinky responded. He eyed Mrs Johnson again who was now glaring down at her jogging partner. "TWENTY minutes. Have a nice run." He stepped aside and opened the gate for her.  
  
"Yes, daddy." Mrs Johnson cooed, stepping up on her tippy toes to kiss the gatekeeper on the cheek. Then she jumped back, stuck her tongue out at the man, and ran out the gate before he could change his mind.   
  
Excitedly, Oddity bounced around her, barking and pulling on his leash.  
  
Pinky watched a moment as the pair jogged out of sight.  
  
"What part?"   
  
Frowning, the Cavalier glanced back at his fellow gatekeeper. "What?"  
  
"Did Sherlock not say the who thing?" the man pressed. "Or did he not say only part of it? I mean did he go around saying `elementary' or did he go around saying `my dear Watson'... which would be pretty weird, but, hey, the dude was pretty weird. So, what part didn't he say?"  
  
Pinky closed that gate, asking "Do you know what they call a pregnant goldfish?"  
  
----------  
  
Eunice Johnson enjoyed the time to herself. She so rarely left the Institute, always busy doing this and that, and a little more of that, with a few spare moments spent on this.  
  
Not that she didn't just absolutely loved her life. She lived the dream: gorgeous men, geniuses in every pocket, excitement in every breath, and rock 'n' roll a constant.   
  
But sometimes, she just really needed a minute or two of quiet.  
  
And, with that in mind, she snapped the CD cover in place, hit play, and blasted her ear drums with the latest, not to mention loudest, of the Hong Kong Cavaliers' releases.  
  
The run was uneventful. It was a quiet, peaceful neighborhood, with an elementary school over there, and a church here, a park for the local kids with a fountain and picnic area, and lots and lots of suburban housing with big, well groomed yards. Every few blocks there was a pair of children manning a lemonade or KoolAde stand. A few teenagers stood out on the sidewalks for any chance to see one of the famous Cavaliers. They were all too excited to see her and her BB t-shirt jog pass. But, when they couldn't place her immediately, turned their attention to the towering walls that encircled the Banzai Institute, as if Perfect Tommy or Thunder or Banzai himself might come flying over and make all their FAN-tasies come true.  
  
Mrs Johnson smiled at herself, remembering Rawhide's description of the surrounding area when they had first bought the land for the Institute. The land had been industries, factories and such, and the neighborhood had been rough and tough, poor worker housing. But When the Banzai Team moved in and started to clean up the land, it attract money and investors into the area. Thus more jobs, better pay, thus a better, greater neighborhood. One of those many little BB positive influence of society that was so rarely noted... sorta like saving the world every other day, fighting off evil hordes of evil doers doing evil deeds (evil, evil, evil...)... But, hey, as long as the Cavaliers kept turning out hit records, who cared what they did in their spare time.  
  
Oddity suddenly yanked back on his leash, pulling his human to a halt.  
  
Startled, Mrs johnson stopped and looked down at the dog.  
  
Oddity caught his leash between his teeth and began to drag her back the way they had come.  
  
Eunice sighed. "Already?" she groaned glancing down at her watch to see that she had already been out for a little over fifteen minutes. if she headed back now, she'd still be late and would receive a stinging glare from the overprotective gatekeeper.  
  
'Course, if she ran back at top speed, acted completely out of breath and exhausted at the gate, pretend to be near fainting, she might, just maybe, squeeze pass Pinky without a lecture. If she was lucky.  
  
So, they headed back.   
  
Pinky Carruthers was leaning against the outside of the gate, tapping his watch when girl and dog paused across the street.  
  
"So much for luck." Mrs Johnson mumbled to herself. She glanced about to make sure the street was safe, then started across.  
  
An engine suddenly roared from a park car to her left.  
  
Startled, she paused to look about again.  
  
Tires squealed, and the car was suddenly speeding right toward them.  
  
"Eunice!" Pinky yelled.  
  
But, before the car hit her, it swerved around her, struck Oddity, and sped away.  
  
Mrs. Johnson screamed when she felt the leash yanked away. "No!" She spun about to try and find the pet, but Pinky grabbed her and threw her bach toward the Institute where more security had appeared to usher her inside. From behind the safety of the door, she watched as Pinky Carruthers knelt beside the dog.  
  
Oddity laid in the gutter, legs kicking as if trying to run, wining and whimpering. Blood stained the white fur of his hip a deep, ugly red. Frantic blue eyes looked up at Pinky with a heart wrenching plea.  
  
Pinky desperately thought of what to do as his men established a perimeter around them as if they were guarding a wounded human being. if it had been human, Pinky would of known exactly what to do. But, this was a dog... not just a dog. This was Oddity, the Hong Kong Cavaliers' dog, Knuckles' dog!  
  
  
  
Making his decision, the gatekeeper scooped the dog up in his arms and carried him back through the gate. "Mrs Johnson, get the boys down here!" he ordered. But the girl was already frantically calling into her go-phone for help.  
  
----------  
  
Rawhide stepped out of the vet office and stopped. Looking across the street he saw the group of eager faces, waiting for word on their beloved pet. He sighed when their nervous looks turned to panic when they saw him leave the vet without the dog. `When did Oddity go from being Knuckles' dog to the Team's?' he wondered.   
  
Again he sighed and, after a very careful look this way and that, he crossed the street to join them at the sidewalk cafe.  
  
Mrs Johnson practically leaped on him. "Is he alright? Where is he? Aren't we taking him home? He IS alright, right?" She kept looking around him, as if expecting the dog to come running behind.  
  
Rawhide took her by the shoulders and focused her on him. "Oddity is banged and scraped up. But the doc said he should be fine. He wants to keep him overnight for observation."  
  
"Observation?" Perfect Tommy questioned. "What's to observe? Is his tail doing that sweeping all flat surfaces thing it does? He's fine! lets take him home."  
  
A chorus of agreements came from the crowd.  
  
But Buckaroo had come out of the cafe then, holding a cup of coffee for Rawhide. "Alrighty, folks." he called as he stepped up to his big friend's side. "You all've spent enough times banged up to know that some ouches just don't show up right off the bat. Oddity was hit by a car. What do you say we give him the night off?"   
  
Perfect Tommy grumbled something under his breath, but turned and headed toward the hummer.  
  
Rawhide wrapped an arm around Eunice's shoulders and steered her toward the waiting vehicle, pausing only long enough to claim the coffee Buckaroo held. "Don't worry your pretty little head, girl." he assured. "Nothing takes out a Cavalier THAT easy."  
  
Pinky Carruthers huffed as he fell in step beside Buckaroo. "I'd just like to know who the hell would go to all that trouble to just run down a dog."  
  
Buckaroo frowned. "You sure they weren't after Mrs Johnson?"  
  
Pinky shook his head. "The target was Oddity." He looked at his employer. "And he got him right under my nose."  
  
----------  
  
The vet watched out the blinds as the Blue Blazes and Cavaliers piled into their vehicles. When the last hummer pulled out and disappeared around the corner, he sighed and turned back to his staff. With a self satisfied grin, he nodded to them and ordered "Get to work. We don't have much time." Then he hurried passed the reception counter and into the examination room. Bowing his head slightly to the person within, he waited to be acknowledged.   
  
"Speak." the musical voice ordered.  
  
"The Cavaliers and their mongrel master has left, my lady." he offered.  
  
Lady Oran de Nathair looked at the man and smiled. "You have done well, child. Now, continue to do well and you will be rewarded." Her brilliant green eyes narrowed full of meaning. "If you fail, it goes without saying, that you will be punished." And with that, she spun about and glided out the back door, her flame red hair floating around her shoulders as if she was enveloped in her own personal fire, burning across the scene.  
  
The vet was left to stand alone in the cold examination room. He swallowed hard, breathing a silent prayer to Athair that he did not fail. And if he did... let him be struck down cold dead, before the Lady Oran de Nathair got her vengeful hands on him. 


	6. Ch6

Ode to Oddity  
  
By The Chronicler  
  
----------  
  
Chapter Six  
  
----------  
  
Knuckles paced the sidewalk, frustrated, impatient, irritated... Ah, crap, she was mad as hell!  
  
She had just spent a sleepless week in a backwoods, one-plane airport terminal (if one could call a lean-to, an out house with no toilet seat, a candy machine from the stone ages, and a satalite dish with a years old bird's nest a terminal), waiting for a bounty to make his usual, never-miss stop.   
  
All she caught was a cold.  
  
Coming to the conclusion that she was gonna die of hypothermia before the bounty ever showed up, she started back for home. Only to meet up with Ryanna Duncan (a fellow bounty hunter that often worked with the Jessie James' Gang) with said bounty in tow, waiting for her at the Canadian boarder. Apparently the bounty had gone through California first, Rye's home state, days earlier. She caught him on his way up to Canada where Knuckles had been laying in wait. Since he had to be turned in in New York and Rye knew nothing about the big city, she waited from Knuckles at the boarder. So, Knuckles brought them into the city with her and helped Rye cash-in on the bounty SHE had spent a week in that damn terminal waiting for.  
  
And, if that wasn't bad enough, Gage and Peggy Banzai was waiting for her at the airport to tell her that the day before Oddity, her very best most loyal friend, had been intintially hit by a car.  
  
With a growl, Knuckles kicked the bumper of her truck.   
  
Peggy Banzai frowned as she walked toward her from the other direction. "Did that do any good?" she wondered.  
  
"Hurt like hell." Knuckles admitted, leaning against the grill so that she could rub her toe. "but at least if I hit the truck I won't hit the next human being that walked by."  
  
Peggy sighed. "I thought Buckaroo taught you a few things to keep your temper in check."  
  
"He did." Knuckles straightened up and looked at the woman. "I kicked it. I didn't shoot it." She threw her hands in the air, spinning about, searching for the vet office they had just spent the last twenty minutes looking for. "Where the hell is it?"  
  
Again Peggy sighed, glancing around. When, once again, she too did not see the vet office where they had been told Oddity had been taken to, she turned to her go-phone. "Let's recheck our directions. Maybe we're on the wrong street." She signaled home.  
  
"Ah, Peggy, you should of called home first." Mrs Johnson chided her when she was told where they were. "Rawhide's already picked Oddity up. Should be home any minute now."  
  
Knuckles groaned. "That would be my luck." she mumbled. Then she snatched Peggy's wrist and pulled her go-phone close. "Is he alright? Was he hurt bad? Needed stitches? Surgery? Is he walk..."  
  
"Rawhide said he's fine." Mrs Johnson cut her off, knowing questions from an over protective mother could last forever. "Bouncing around like a puppy, tail on a non-stop wag-fest. Bets are he'll have Perfect Tommy's favorite shoe even before his pretty little paws hit the dirt."  
  
Knuckles and Peggy exchanged amused looks. They could alomst see the ever so classy Perfect Tommy diving after the dog in a frantic attempt to save some leather paten, $300 shoe from dog drool and teath marks.  
  
----------  
  
Oddity sat patiently on the passengers seat, watching as Rawhide held his hand out to the gate guard for the "Dupe Scan."   
  
Ever since they had been first tricked by a dupe of Perfect Tommy six years earlier that nearly destroyed the Insitute from the inside, finding a way to tell the dupes from the real live BBs had become a priority for the security teams. The the metal sceleton of the dupes could not be detected by metal detecters, but it was discoverd that the cloneing process used to develope the outer form of a dupe left some genes incomplete. It took nearly every department in the Banzai Institute to develope a scanner that would detect the tell-tale flaw. And, now, every person through the gate, wiether they were a visiting pollotician or Buckaroo himself, was scanned.  
  
Pinky Carruthers took the scanner from his man and looked at the results himself. "Congradulations, Rawhide. You are the real McCoy."  
  
"Always good to hear." Rawhide mumbled.   
  
Pinky smiled, knowing how the big man just hated tests. He looked passed Rawhide to the dog. "Hey, Oddity, welcome home."  
  
Upon hearing his name, the dog barked once, his tail swooshing at a hundred miles an hour.  
  
Chuckling, Pinky stepped back away from the hummer and waved it through.  
  
----------  
  
"Hey, Mrs J?" Knuckles called into Peggy's go-phone she still gripped along with her wrist. "Where is this Doc Smith anyhow? Whoever gave Peggy the directions really screwed it up."  
  
Peggy winced. She could alomost hear Eunice's glare.  
  
"I gave her the directions." Mrs Johnson responded, her voice carring an edge to it. "And I checked it out twice. 616 Summer street."  
  
Peggy glanced at the building before them. Though neat and clean, it was still empty, abandon, and boarded up. But, there clear as day, was the building numbers 616. "Right address, right street." she informed Mrs Johnson. "But, sweety, there isn't a vet office in sight."  
  
Knuckles was glaring at the go-phone, which, considering it was still attatched to her writst, was making Peggy rather uncomfortable.   
  
"There was a cafe across the street. The... Yorker's Coffee House." Eunice Johnson supplied. "A fire hydrants just to the left of the vet's door. And a... a big flower pot on the corner..."  
  
"Yea, yea, it's all here." Knuckles mumbled. But the growl was gone, her tone softened by concern. Again she eyed the boarder up building; this time looking with the suspiciouse eyes of a hunter, rather than the quick glance that simply told her it was not what they were looking for. "This is wrong." she declared, releasing Peggy's wrist and stepping up to a boarded up window. She ran a finger along the boards, then held it up for Peggy to see.   
  
"No dirt." Peggy saw at once. "What boarded up building is that clean? Who suggested Dr. Smith, mrs Johnson?"  
  
"Rawhide called Gage. Gage found the adress in Knuckles' rollerdex."  
  
Knuckles spun about and grabbed Peggy's wrist again.  
  
"Ouch... hey! You do have your own go-phone, remember?" Peggy protested, but knew the bounty hunter was going into full hunting mode, thus dangerouse to pull away.   
  
"There is no vet in the rollerdex." Knuckles protested. "That is a zoologist refrence. Not a vetenarian. And there is no Dr Smith or ANYTHING Smith in there!"  
  
"Are you sure?" Mrs Johnson asked.  
  
"Hello! Photographic memory... I know every name and number in that thing." Knuckles snapped. "There is no vet! There is no Dr Smith!"  
  
"At least not that you put in there." Peggy pointed out.  
  
Knuckles looked at her, again her anger surrendering to her concern. "Mrs J, as soon as Oddity gets there, put him in the run." Knuckles told her. "I'm gonna check this joint out, find out just exactly what this place is... and what the hell they did when they had my dog."  
  
"Sure." Mrs Johnson answered. "Hey, let me know what you find, okay? You think this is some sort of trick?"  
  
"We'll let you know." Peggy answered as Knuckles moved to the back of her truck and opened her weapons trunk. She decided to disconnect the call before the mean little bounty hunter tossed her a rather large gun. No need to overly worry the girl.  
  
Knuckles shook her revolver at Peggy. "Stay at my back, don't wonder, and you let me go first." she ordered.  
  
Peggy nodded once.  
  
Knuckles stepped up to the boarded up door and, with all her might, gave it a kick.  
  
----------  
  
"Hey! Ouch! Woe! Wait a minute!" Rawhide cried.   
  
But, as soon as he had opened his door so as to climb out of the hummer, Oddity bounced and crawled over him and shot out of the vehicle.  
  
"Oddity!" the big cowboy called after, but the dog had already dissapeared around the corner of the house, chasing after some scent that had caught his attention.  
  
Perfect Tommy chuckled as he walked up to Rawhide. "Guess he's happy to be home. Already found something to chase."  
  
Rawhide frowned. "Just hope it isn't your shoe."  
  
Perfect Tommy frowned. "Or your boot."  
  
The two Cavaliers, each an opposite of the other, looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing.  
  
"Ah, damn." Rawhide mumbled.  
  
"Yea." Perfect Tommy agreed.   
  
And the two men took chase 


	7. Ch7

Ode to Oddity  
  
By The Chronicler  
  
----------  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
----------  
  
With a thundering crash, the door slammed back on broken hinges, some of which hung from splinters in the wall.  
  
Peggy Banzai frowned. "You know, I could of picked that thing." she mumbled.  
  
"I know." Knuckles answered, swinging about the room, making sure it was clear before allowing her companion to enter.  
  
"Then..." Peggy prompted.  
  
"Bad week, getting only worse." Knuckles shrugged. "Call it pent up frustrations." She stepped up to the reception counter. "Huh." she offered, tilting a box so that she could see in it.   
  
It was a hastily packed box with office this and thats tossed in.  
  
Peggy moved behind the counter to a computer. She tapped the power switch.   
  
Nothing.   
  
With a sigh, she rapped her knuckles on the top of the so-called machine, leaving a dent.   
  
"Props." Knuckles growled, tossing a stapler back into the box. "All place is filled with damn props."  
  
"What the hell's going on?" Peggy wanted to know, looking around. "What the hell happened here?"  
  
Knuckles was too busy investigating the place to answer. "Looked like they were still packing up." she mumbled, tracing her finger over the edge of a photocopy of a degree sitting on the edge of another box sitting on a chair. It looked just like her own... for the exception that she didn't know of a veterinary college in Grand Island, Nebraska. "They might still be here, somewhere."  
  
"Good thing we made such a covert entry." Peggy grumbled, glaring at the bounty hunter.  
  
When Knuckles' go-phone sounded, both women jumped, bring up their weapons as if caught. When they realized what it was, Peggy flashed a nervous smile and shrugged.  
  
Irritated with being startled as much as being interrupted, Knuckles flipped her go-phone. "What?!"  
  
"Just thought I'd let you know..." It was Rawhide. "Oddity is on the lose on property. Took off faster than a jack rabbit. And we have yet to find him... at least long enough to lasso the mutt... I know, I know... pure bread Silver Austrian Shepard. Anyway..."  
  
"Try his locator." Knuckles suggested.   
  
"We did. We're getting erratic signals which could mean a number of things." Rawhide answered.  
  
Peggy nodded. "Every other building is sheltered, protected from everything other than go-phone activity. And a few lower levels block those out." she explained.   
  
"Or it could of been damaged by the hit." Rawhide added.  
  
"He has another locator. It's stronger. We just had it adjusted to the go-phone frequency so that we can use them to track his movements." Knuckles offered. "It's under the skin on the inside of his back hip. Use file H-76K."   
  
"Got it." There was a moment of silence. Rawhide's tone took a sharp note. "Got it. Knuckles? He isn't here."  
  
Knuckles and Peggy exchanged startled looks.  
  
"Where is he, cowboy?" Knuckles asked slowly, almost not wanting to know the answer.  
  
"According to this thing, he's there, very close to you."  
  
"Then..." Peggy ran nervous fingers through her soft blond hair, "who, or what, did you take home?"  
  
----------  
  
The Banzai Intern smiled as he saw the dog sniffing and pawing at the ground. "Hey, Oddity, boy." he greeted, approaching the animal. "How ya doin', buddy?" Everyone had heard about the "accident" and everyone had been worried about their favorite playmate. Not a single Frisbee or ball game had taken place in the last six years that did not involve, at one point or another, a crazed chase after the dog who, so expertly, stole their toy.   
  
Oddity glanced up at the intern, then quickly turned back to the ground, sniffing about to find a trail. He was standing on the cross roads of three trails, five leading to very specific, very well groomed gardens. The sixth leading back to the main house and compound.  
  
"Hell, pup." the intern, a botanist, said, realizing what was wrong. "I just hosed this place down. Whatever you're following is lost." Funny how apologetic he felt. He reached out for a more personal "sorry": a pat on the head.  
  
The dog's head snapped about, cold steel teeth sinking deep into tender unprotected flesh.   
  
The intern's jaw dropped, shock momentarily over welming the pain as he watch as his fore arm was ripped down to the bone.  
  
Teeth continued to chomp down until human bones snapped.  
  
The intern screamed.  
  
With a whip of his head, the thing tossed the man down on to the ground.   
  
Panicked, the intern tried to take advantage of the release to roll over on his side and try to crawl away, what was left of his arm draggin behind.  
  
But his attacker wasn't about to leave a witness. With a snarl, the creature slammed down on the intern's back. Before the victim could release a second scream, the steel teeth snapped down on his neck, snapping his spine. Just to be sure, it shook viciously and violently, nearly ripping the intern's head clean off.  
  
Dropping the lifeless form on the ground, the animal glanced around again, sniffing. Then, it took off down a trail, leaving bloody paw in the dirt.  
  
----------  
  
"Come on, hurry!" snapped Dr Smith, waving to his underlings to load the last of their equipment into the back of the truck.   
  
"What about that?" one asked, waving a hand at the whimpering animal laying in the bottom of a cage.   
  
Dr. Smith looked at them with big, blue eyes, completely helpless to whatever they chose to do.   
  
Oddity might not have understood everything, but he knew these were bad people. His humans fought these people. He fought these people to protect his humans. And now they had him, hurt him. And he could not fight back. And he wanted his humans! Again, the dog whimpered.  
  
"Kill it." Smith finally answered. "We don't need it. If the dupe doesn't do its job none of us will live to make a second attempt."  
  
The underling nodded once. Drawing a pistol, he stepped up to the cage and leveled the weapon at the dog's head. "Shame. He'd be a lot of fun for the children in the nursery." he mumbled.  
  
Oddity scooted back against the bars of the cage.  
  
A gun was fired.  
  
The man screamed as a .44 bullet ripped through his hand, spinning him about. He bent over clutching his wounded hand, dropping his weapon.  
  
Peggy quickly ran up, kicking the fallen gun, keeping her own trained on the four other men.   
  
Knuckles saved one breath to glance down at her wounded pet, before stepping passed Peggy and back handing the would be dog killer across the jaw with her gun toting had. Fuming, she stepped over the fallen man and head straight for Dr Smith. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TO ME DOG?!" she yelled at him. Before he could react, her steel toed boot snapped out, cracking the man's shen.  
  
"Don't try it!" Peggy warned when another underling started to move to interfere. "Knuckles is never in a great mood. You really wanna try her after messing with her one and only?" She motioned with her gun. "On your stomachs, hands clasped over your head, legs crossed. If I have to worry about you moving, I won't worry twice... if you get my meaning." To emphasize, she kicked the wounded man in the head when he started to rise up. Knocking him out, she assured that he would not be of any concern for a while.  
  
All three men backed away.  
  
Knuckles glanced over to make sure the gentle Banzai woman had her end covered. Then her mean, bright green eyes locked on the supposed vet before her. "What did you do to my dog?" she snarled, grabbing the man by the throat and pressing her gun against his nose.   
  
Dr. Smith barred his teeth, knowing that he was dead anyway. Rather a quick death by crazed bounty hunter than facing the Lady Oran de Nathair. "James," he growled, "a gift from the Uilc Dochas Clan to the brainiest mongrel among your putrid kind."   
  
The heavy barrel of Knuckles' gun slammed across his nose, breaking it. "What did you do to my dog?" she screamed at him.  
  
"Knuckles... what is that?" Peggy asked, yanking the tarp back off of the bed of the truck. She had just yanked the rope free and had one of her prisoners tying up the other two.  
  
Knuckles glanced at the rectangular glass box. All sorts of tubes and wires ran through the box. Some sort of computer was attached. She knew what it was. She had seen it before. "An incubator." she informed her friend, turning back to Smith. Knuckles knew that the only answer was that, somehow, they had made a dupe of Oddity. But, now, she wanted to know why. "Who's the target?" she demanded.  
  
Smith just smiled, blood streaming down his face, dripping on Knuckles' hand that was still wrapped tightly around his throat.  
  
Knuckles suddenly felt her stomach knot up. "The brainiest mongrel?" she repeated. "Banzai."  
  
Peggy's head snapped up. "Can they do that? Can an Oddity dupe hurt Buckaroo?" Her voice had leaped in pitch, her fear for her husband coming through.  
  
"If they can make a dupe of Tom that tried to kill all of you, what do you think they can do with an android of Oddity, with strength, claws, teeth, and trusted enough to go into every little corner of the Banzai Institute?" Knuckles slammed her gun up along side the man's head dropping him unconscious to the ground. Seeing that Peggy had successfully tied the others up, she went to the cage and freed her pet.   
  
Peggy stood in horror, realizing just how vulnerable they all were touch a threat. "My god, Knuckles, we let Oddity sleep in our room at night when you aren't there! He guards the shower mat when Eunice is taking a shower. Howls from under Billy's desk when he's playing computer games. He's everywhere, close to everyone."  
  
Oddity wined as his wounded shoulder was moved painfully when Knuckles picked him up. "Then lets go!"  
  
----------  
  
Rawhide couldn't believe his ears. That thing had been in the seat beside him all the way back home and he never noticed a damn thing! He could of sworn that it had been Oddity. He remembered every little detail: the blue eyed grin, the wagging tail that swiped the dash clean, the expressive ears bobbing this way and that, the wet nose that had happily sniffed at his neck when he had picked the animal up... IT WAS ODDITY!   
  
Or so he could of sworn.  
  
And, damn, Buckaroo had gone off into one of the gardens for a little "me time" and they had no idea where he was.... just that he was on property... and it was a hell of a big piece of property to be lost on.  
  
"Want to let the dogs lose?" Pinky wanted to know as he worked on the tracker.  
  
"No." Rawhide answered. "One too many dogs running loose now. Don't want our people getting confused." Rawhide called as he caught the shotgun Reno tossed him "Mrs. Johnson, get on the horn to everyone, find out who saw what when and tell them to get inside and do not let Oddity in! And let me know if anyone's seen Buckaroo. Reno, Pinky, split up them men you have. Everyone with a partner. No one goes after this thing alone. Remember how much it took to take down the dupe of Perfect Tommy? This one has teeth."  
  
"Speaking of Perfect Tommy...?" Mrs Johnson prompted.   
  
"I'm going out to meet him now." Rawhide assured. "He's heading into the Tea Gardens." He was about to head down the trail, when Knuckles truck skidded to a halt in front of the house.  
  
"Wait up." Knuckles called, lifting another Oddity out and onto the ground.   
  
"Is that the real thing?" Rawhide wanted to know.  
  
"We ran his paw through the dupe scan." Peggy assured.  
  
Knuckles crouched down. "Okay, boy. I know you're hurt, but we need your help. Find the dupe. Got it, boy?" She rose to her feet. "Find the dupe, Oddity! Hunt!" she ordered.  
  
The dog blinked up at her. Then, obediently, sniffed the air. After a moment, his tail wagged and he gave a barked. He found the scent. Limping, Oddity started down in the direction Rawhide was planning on going.  
  
This changed things. "Reno, Pinky, with me. Peggy..." Rawhide started.  
  
"Save it." Peggy snapped, grabbing a shot gun from Knuckles truck. "He's MY husband." And she and Knuckles lead the way after Oddity.  
  
"Women with guns." Reno mumbled as the three men fell into step. Receiving a grunt from the other two, he knew no more needed to be said. 


	8. Ch8

Ode to Oddity  
  
By The Chronicler  
  
----------  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
----------  
  
Perfect Tommy sneezed. God, he hated the gardens. "Next time ol' Bucky wants to play hide 'n' seek he sure as hell better find a pollen free place to do the hiding." he mumbled.   
  
He started to shake his head, trying to clear the sinus fog that was quickly taking over. But his head stopped, looking to his left.   
  
There, lying on the ground, was a nearly decapitated body. The flesh was ripped from the arm, the neck was broken and torn. The trail was soaked with blood.   
  
"Well, shit." Perfect Tommy complained. Fingering his go-phone, he waited for Rawhide to answer. "Um, big guy... think I found the trail."  
  
----------  
  
Buckaroo Banzai knelt on the ground in the middle of a circle of blossoming dogwood trees. Their fragrance washed over him in a most hypnotizing way. With head back, eyes closed, breath slowed until it was nearly impossible for the human eye to detect, he put himself in a trance-like state. The world around him did not exist, yet he could feel it all about him, feel it in him. Feeling the dirt under him. Breathing in the pollen in the air. Listening to the sweet song of the birds and the chirps of the insects.   
  
The world, at least for that moment, was just as it should be....  
  
"Buckaroo!"  
  
With an annoyed sigh, Buckaroo opened his eyes and turned his head slightly. "Perfect Tommy..." he started, but stopped.  
  
Perfect Tommy stood at the edge of the clearing, a pistol in his hand.   
  
Between them was Oddity, crouched down, ready to leap. His white fur was splattered with blood up his chest and around his face. The dog glanced back sharply at Perfect Tommy, then snapped his attention back to the unsuspecting doctor.  
  
"What's going on, Perfect Tommy?" Buckaroo asked softly.   
  
"It isn't Oddity." Tommy started to explain. "It's a du.... Get down!" Perfect Tommy leaped forward, but was too late.  
  
The dupe had lunged, its front paws slamming into Buckaroo's shoulders, its unnaturally heavy body pushing him back to the ground.  
  
Instinct, more than anything, prompted Buckaroo to grab the beast by the fur around its neck, holding its head back.   
  
Steel teeth snapped just a breath from his throat.  
  
"No!" Perfect Tommy yelled, leaping on the thing's back. Wrapping his arm around it's neck, he pulled back. Jabbing his pistol into the android's ribs, he pulled the trigger over and over until it clicked on empty chambers.   
  
Each shot jerked the thing, but otherwise, did little, but make it angry. The dupe bounced its front paws off Buckaroo's chest, jerking free of Perfect Tommy's hold. It spun about, grabbing his arm.  
  
Perfect Tommy cried out as the steel teeth ripped into his arm. He tried to pull free, but only succeeded in ripping his own flesh. Numb fingers dropped his gun as the thing shoved him back to the ground, teeth drilling down to the bone. He tried to kick the dupe away, but it jerked away, its teeth twisting in PT's arm as it moved. Tears of pain flooded his eyes, his free hand blindly swinging up at his attacker.  
  
Its head jerked about, releasing the arm so as to snap at his fingers.   
  
But Buckaroo had recovered and leaped into the fray. Grabbing the thing's tail, he pulled with all his might.  
  
The dupe spun about and lunged once again at its primary target.  
  
Center of attention again, Buckaroo stumbled back, hoping to keep their deadly attacker's eyes on him, and away from his withering friend. Perfect Tommy had lasted one minute against this thing. No way was he gonna let the dupe get a second bite at the kid.   
  
It was working.  
  
Completely ignoring its previous victim, the Oddity dupe leaped at him.  
  
Buckaroo dropped, rolling onto his back, intending to kick the thing over the top of him.  
  
But, apparently, the dupe was ready for that. It stopped just short, its teeth snatching onto the doctor's ankle and jumped back.  
  
Buckaroo's feet went out from under him, his ankle snapping under the vicious strength of the thing's jaw. Somehow he managed to bite back a cry.  
  
With all the cruelty its evil creators could program it to, the dupe began to twist and pull, dragging the helpless man into the bushes for a quick, hidden kill.  
  
With a bark and a snarl of his own, another Oddity leaped through the air, plowing into the first with enough force he broke the hold the dupe had had on its victim and carried both across the small clearing. The two identical creatures rolled across the ground until they slammed into a tree. The second Oddity instantly rolled free, only to spin about and lunge onto the back of the first, teeth latching onto its ear. paws digging at the flesh covered back.  
  
The first quickly rolled, smashing its look-a-like into the tree.  
  
With a yipe, Oddity laid against the hard trunk stunned. But when the dupe went after Buckaroo again, assuming Oddity was finished, the loyal Aussie shook himself and lunged after. This time he went after the thing's legs. Grabbing one hind leg, he pulled back, dragging his evil counter part away from its victim.  
  
The dupe spun about on the dog and snapped its steel teeth with such force a spark twinkled.   
  
Oddity bounced away on three legs. One of his front legs still wounded from the accident.   
  
Apparently deciding it wasn't going to get a peaceful moment to kill until Oddity was out of the way, the dupe turned its full attention on the dog before it.  
  
With a snarl, Oddity hunkered low, challenging the thing.  
  
The dupe took the challenge. With jaw hanging open, ready to bite the first flesh its teeth came into contact with, it ran at the dog, instantly reaching its top speed.   
  
Oddity bounced to the side, letting the faster, more maneuverable thing over step, racing passed him. As it passed, Oddity slammed against the thing's side, knocking it off its feet.  
  
Its own momentum and the blow from its advisory sent the dupe sliding across the ground on its side and back, its feet momentarily kicking up into the air.  
  
Oddity took quick advantage of the fallen dupe. Leaping on top of the frailing copy, he followed instinct and sank his teeth into the throat of that mechanical thing.  
  
If Oddity had been fighting one of his own kind, he would of won right then and there, succeeding in ripping the throat out of his enemy.  
  
But he was not fighting another dog. And when his teeth sank through fragile flesh and muscle, he hit hard and unforgiving steel... and then the dupe really got angry.  
  
Kicking up with its hind legs, the beast struck Oddity in the underbelly with such brutal force even Buckaroo, several feet away, could hear the dog's ribs break.  
  
Oddity attempted to yipe, but, refusing to release his hold that, in his mind, should of been ending this fight, it came only as a muffled wine.  
  
"Oddity!" Knuckles screamed, running onto the scene, quickly followed by Peggy, Rawhide, Reno, and Pinky.   
  
The dupe rolled, taking the top position in the fight. Front paws braced against the dog's chest, it ripped its own throat out as it yanked free. Once again assuming that this pathetic original was done for, the dupe glanced around to find Banzai.  
  
But Peggy had already moved to get her husband out of harm's way.  
  
With a snarl, the mechanical creature took a menacing step toward the couple.  
  
With his last strength, Oddity lifted himself up with one front leg and snapped his teeth down on the dupe's hip.  
  
With a startled bark, the dupe spun about.   
  
"Can't get a clear shot!" Reno complained as once again the two identicle creatures were rolling across the ground.   
  
Beside him, Knuckles and Rawhide found themselves in a like situation. Rolling about, the two looked like just one big fur ball.   
  
Then there was a heart wrenching scream. It took them only a breath, then, to know which was which: Oddity hung, apparently lifeless, by the throat in the steel grip of the monster's teeth.  
  
"No!" Knuckles cried. "Oddity!" She ran forward, swinging her rifle up, over her head, and bringing it down with all her strength across the dupe's back. The blow snapped the rifle in two.   
  
The dupe dropped its hold on her dog, spinning about to face this new distraction.   
  
"Knuckles, get back!" Rawhide grabbed her around the waist and spun her out of the way of the steel teeth.   
  
Peggy was the first to fire, the blast taking the dupe full on, as soon as Knuckles was clear.   
  
Its face and chest riddled with holes, revealing the steel innards, the dupe snarled at the girl. Before it could strike, though, Reno and Pinky came up on either side of her, and fired.  
  
The dupe jerked, its front legs failing under the onslaught. Its chest crashed to the ground. But, still snarling, it continued its attack, snapping at the Cavaliers' feet.  
  
Pinky circled around, pressed the barrel of his shotgun against the thing's head, and fired again.   
  
The head of the dupe exploded in a shower of shrapnel, sparks, and hisses. Dead android legs kicking, it fell to its side.  
  
For a moment the armed Cavaliers stood silently, waiting for the headless machine to continue its attack. But, when it remained on the ground, unmoving for the exception of an occasional twist as last flashes of energy burned out, they quickly spun about to see to their wounded.  
  
Peggy dropped down beside her husband and helped him sit up. As soon as his head was at proper highth, Peggy grabbed it in both her hands and kissed him, making sure that he was still alive.  
  
"I'm okay." Buckaroo assured. "Just my ankle. It's broken." He waved to Reno. "Help Perfect Tommy! He's bleeding."  
  
"Damn, damn, damn..." Perfect Tommy was cursing, holding his arm to his chest. "I REALLY HATE those things!"  
  
Reno quickly dropped to his side, yanking a bandanna from his back pocket and tying it around his upper arm as a truncate.  
  
"So," Buckaroo growled through clenched teeth. "Who wants to tell me just what the hell is going on?" 


	9. Ch9: EPILOGUE

Ode to Oddity  
  
By The Chronicler  
  
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Chapter Nine  
  
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"Coming through!" Peggy shouted, clearing the medical staff out of the way as her husband was wheeled into the infirmary on a stretcher.  
  
"I really don't need a stretcher." Buckaroo complained. "A wheel chair... hell, I could of made it with crutches."  
  
"Yes." Reno mumbled as he pushed the stretcher into place and locked it down. "We could of given you crutches... but then Peggy would take them from you and beat us down with them."  
  
"Damn straight." Peggy agreed, turning on and adjusting the light over the stretcher so as to shine on Buckaroo's ankle.   
  
"Where's Perfect Tommy?" Buckaroo wanted to know as a pair of doctors moved in on his injury.  
  
Reno stepped aside allowing his employer a view of Rawhide who was supporting the younger man as he lead him to another bed.   
  
"I'm here." Perfect Tommy growled through clenched teeth.  
  
"You alright, kid?"  
  
"Hell no!" Perfect Tommy snapped, glaring at a doctor who approached with a needle. "You intend to poke me with that thing? 'Cause, if you are, it sure as hell better put me to sleep! Anything else an' I'm gonna thread that damn thin' up your butt an' through your freakin' eye!"  
  
Reno chuckled. "Ever notice how that southern accent of his intensifies with his temper?"  
  
Buckaroo smiled. As she passed, he grabbed Peggy's arm. "Peg, go be with PT. He'll trust you more than the staff."   
  
Peggy sighed. Patting him on the shoulder, she ordered "Don't go anywhere." Then headed over to the youngest of the Cavaliers. "Perfect Tommy, give him the syringe back or I'll start some threading of my own!"  
  
"Reno, stay here, look after them." Rawhide ordered.  
  
"Where are you going?" Buckaroo wanted to know.   
  
"Need to check on Knuckles and Oddity." Rawhide explained and then was out the door before another question could be raised.  
  
"Oddity alright?" Perfect Tommy asked as he held his arm out and Peggy was gently unwrapping the first aid bandages that had been used to halt the bleeding.  
  
"You're losing a lot of blood." Peggy grumbled, avoiding the issue. "Lets get some O positive flowing into him. Is Sid on his way?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am." one of the medical interns offered as she prepared an I.V.  
  
"Peggy..." Perfect Tommy started again.   
  
"No." Reno answered him. He paused to meet Peggy's eyes as she glanced over at him. "Oddity is not alright."  
  
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Knuckles leaned her head against the soft fur of her dog's head. Her hands shook as she ran them through the white and silver curls.   
  
Wining, Oddity weakly moved his head and licked at her face.  
  
Knuckles smiled. With a scratch at his ears, she kissed him lightly on the nose. "Good boy. Very good boy."   
  
His tail wagged in response.  
  
A big hand rubbed Knuckles' back.  
  
She looked up to see Rawhide standing beside her. She licked her lips. "He's hurt really bad, cowboy." she whispered.  
  
"Will he live?" Rawhide asked. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Just the look in the girl's eyes, the very girl nearly famous for her dry eyes and hard heart, should of been answer enough.  
  
But, pleasant surprise, it wasn't.   
  
"He'll live. Motzy is prepping the surgical room now. We'll go in and repair as much as we can, but..." She stopped.  
  
Rawhide crouched down beside her. "Some of the damage is permanent." he finished for her.  
  
"I can't fix his leg right. He'll limp for the rest of his life. And his left lung was damaged from his cracked ribs. His vocal cords were damaged." Knuckles rested her along side her pet's. "He can't be my partner any more."  
  
The big man wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So, he'll live out the rest of his days riding fences, chasing the cats in the barn, smooching sweet rolls from the kitchen, bouncing Buckaroo out of bed..."  
  
Knuckles couldn't help but chuckle, a sound that brought another tail wage from her dog.  
  
Rawhide smiled. "So what if he isn't going to be chasing down the bad guys any longer." He reached out and gently scratched the animal's ear. "After everything he's done for us... think we owe him a comfortable retirement in the sun."  
  
"Knuckles?" Motzy, Knuckles' assistant that ran the animal sanctuary in her absence and vetted the guard dogs, entered the room with a stretcher. "Room's ready." He placed the stretcher next to the dog and waited for Knuckles' okay to move their patient.  
  
Rawhide rose to his feet, then, with a hand under her elbow, pulled Knuckles to hers. "Can you do this?" he wanted to know. "You know, our people, whether they shave or not, get only the best."  
  
Knuckles nodded. "I am the best." she assured, suddenly looking much more like her steady hand self.  
  
"Good girl." Rawhide glanced at Motzy, then Knuckles again. "Keep me updated. I'm going to check on the boys then be right back."  
  
"This could take a few hours." Motzy warned.  
  
"I'll be here."   
  
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Dr Smith glanced up, his eyes going big. "M' Lady... I can explain..."  
  
Oran de Nathair glanced around the alley, taking in the scene before her.  
  
The precious incubator had been shot to pieces. The dog's cage was smashed. The doctor's staff were lying on their bellies, their hands and feet tied together with their own rope. Dr Smith himself was handcuffed to the bumper of his truck.  
  
The Lady of the Uilc Dochas Clan's eyes narrowed. Slowly, taking pleasure in the growing fear in the eyes of the man, she glided toward Dr Smith. Reaching up, she polled a long needle from her hair, allowing her long wavy, red hair to fall over her shoulders.  
  
Dr. Smith began to whimper. "Please... p... please, m... m' lady... I did my b... best... please....  
  
==========  
  
Ode to Oddity  
  
The End 


End file.
